I WANT TO EAT A NUT OF LAERMA!

THE MIDDLE EAST NEEDS AN ENEMA UPDATE

Well, it's been a while since I've done one of these, but, first, I think it's time to look at some "Actual Items".

Our crack research team, not "a research team on crack", looked through newspapers, magazines, circulars, university campuses looking for mistakes and odd things in advertisements. And the best thing is, you can't make this stuff up. You wouldn't want to make this stuff up.

Here's a flyer for an anti-war protest from Concordia University in Montreal.



Notice anything wrong? The protest is March 20th, right? Yet the flyer says 20/04/03-20/04/04. Umm... March is the third month, not the fourth month, you fricking idiotarian morons!

And didn't the war start on Saint Patrick's Day, March 17th?

Also, this flyer says that they're meeting at Dominion Square, which has been offically called "Dorchester Square" since the early Nineties, when the Quebec government officially renamed Dorchester Boulevard "Réné Lévesque" but still wanted to honour Guy Carleton a.k.a. Lord Dorchester somehow, so they renamed Dominion Square. However, I'm someone whom is generally pro-colonialism/pro-imperialism (as long as it's beneficial to those colonialized) ;), so I don't mind seeing Dominion Square being called by its proper name (and bring back "Dorchester Boulevard" while you're at it).

Let's see what else it says...

ONE YEAR OF WAR

Yes, because it's all the American's fault that we're at war in the Middle East and Iraq would be a socialist paradise if we hadn't interfered in the first place. (Roll eyes...)

ONE YEAR OF LIES

Mainly from the anti-war crowd, heh heh. At worst, the "Weapons of Mass Destruction" thing was a successful feint, since the good guys sometimes do need to tell lies in order to get big things accomplished, like how Reagan's "Star Wars" feint ultimately led to the breakup of the Soviet Union because the Communists knew they could no longer compete with America's technical superiority in the arms race. But I'm still not convinced no WMD's will ever be found, but it's really not that important. Getting rid of Saddam was a needed objective in and of itself for his terrorizing his own people and his support of terrorism elsewhere in the world. Let us not forget Salman Pak... And why the fuck should we have a dictator in charge of the oil supply? What's the benefit in that?

ONE YEAR OF RESISTANCE

Well, I guess "resistance" is always something to be celebrated, so you all must be celebrating the bombings of the shrines in Baghdad and Karbala on the Shiite Holy Day, killing at least 143? That's "resistance", and it's against the Americans and their "collaborators" (re-non Islamofascists, including many of fellow Muslims) therefore it must be celebrated! Islamofascists pigs...

Global Day of Action Against the Occupation of Iraq

Well, if they use the word "occupation", then it must be a bad thing... How about the Americans just pull out and then there would no bombings of Shiite shrines (since Saddam's cronies would just reassume power again and murder the Shiites and the Kurds using the authourity of the States, while the other bloodthirsty terrorist regimes would know that Americans back down). Great idea.

In other news, Hillel Concordia is having a special guest speaker:

Hillel Concordia is Proud to Present: Voices from Within
A series on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict
March 10th from 5pm-7 pm featuring
Walid Shoebat
From PLO terrorist to Zionist - From hate to love.
A story you want to hear from the man himself. Not to be missed!
"The world does not see the truth about what's happening in the West Bank," Walid Shoebat told a Toronto reporter. "My purpose is to tell the West that they aren't getting the real picture, that what they're seeing is propaganda. I know the truth because I was there, I was part of it. And the truth is, we wanted to kill Jews long before the occupation. I wanted to kill Jews. Indoctrinated in the PLO as a child, Shoebat was involved in many anti-Israel riots, terror, and violence against Israel, and was imprisoned in Jerusalem's central prison. After a period of self-study and reflection, Shoebat rejected his previous life of terror and intimidation, concluded that hate and violence will not further the cause of Palestinians towards a stable future. He has dedicated himself to fighting hatred and achieving a just peace in the Middle East.

Read more about Walid Shoebat here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3430077.stm

I'm not even Jewish, and I want to see that guy. He sounds cool. And you gotta love that title, "From PLO terrorist to Zionist", which is an extra "fuck you" to the SPHR-types.

Oh yeah, since I forgot to mention it before, Palestinian 'splodeydope Mohammed Zaal, whom splattered himself in a bus in Jerusalem on February 22nd, killing eight innocents, is spending his 13th day burining in Hell. And, aww, his family, instead of receiving a big fat cheque from Saddam, got arrested. Shucks!

posted by Steve Brandon @ 8:32 AM