The Montreal Gazette's Mike Boone is about the most liberal, politically correct columnist in this city, at least on the English side of things. On Saturday, he actually wrote a very good column against the Pink Panthers, a bunch of communist vandals who play the gay "identity politics" card in an attempt to justify their criminal behaviour, as though there is some sort of correlation between loving the cock and loving the Marx. (Not always.) The column was written in response to the Pink Panthers' defacing of the statue of Scottish poet Robert Burns in Dominion Square... pardon me, "Dorchester Square" (No, Dorchester should be the name of a street, Dominion is the name of the square.)
"Is this any way to get ready for Tartan Day?
On Tuesday, Quebec will celebrate the Scots as one of the province's great founding peoples. Late last year, Geoff Kelley, MNA for Jacques Cartier riding, introduced and successfully pushed for the adoption of Bill 190, designating April 6 as Tartan Day.
Revellers might want to avoid visiting Dorchester Square, where cretins have spray-painted graffiti on the statue of Robert Burns.
The concrete base of the bronze sculpture has been defaced with drawings of two cat paws, an anarchist "A" inside a stylized heart and a one-word epithet: "QUEERS!" It's done in pink paint, as is a message scrawled on the entrance of a nearby subterranean parking garage: "Vive les panthères roses."
Based in Paris, the Pink Panthers describe themselves as "radical queers." In February, the Montreal chapter mounted Operation Pepto-Bismol against the commercialism of Valentine's Day.
The Pink Panthers deposited fake pink vomit outside 10 businesses in the Gay Village."
Boone later goes on to wonder what is the Pink Panthers' problem with Robbie Burns exactly, and, in doing so, makes the tamest of gay jokes based on the mildest of stereotypes (emphasis mine).
"The Pink Panthers are committed to "creative and controversial" political protest - which is cool, but what's their problem with Robbie Burns?
Beneath the statue of the pensive-looking poet is an excerpt from Burns's A Man's a Man for a' That:
"It's comin' yet for a' that
That man to man the world o'er
Shall brothers be for a' that."
Lovely sentiment, no? An idealistic vision of universal brotherhood: Who could have a political problem with those verses or the man who wrote them?
The Pink Panthers are a shadowy group that doesn't have a phone number - at least not one Inspector Clouseau or I could find. My contacts in the gay community have dried up (despite constantly urging one another to moisturize), so the basis of their anti-Burns bias remains a mystery."
OH NOEZ! Mike Boone committed a "thought crime" by implying that... Sacré bleu!... a lot of gay men take pride in their appearance by using moisturizer. We must send Mike Boone to the Re-education Camp for some brainwashing... erm, I mean, "sensitivity training", because, even though taking pride in one's appearance would be a positive stereotype, remember what the South Park episode "The Deathcamp of Tolerance" taught us about stereotypes?
Tour Guide:[leads them into the Hall of Stereotypes] We are now entering the Hall of Stereotypes. These wax figures represent how some intolerant people have labled minorities. [leads them to the first exhibit] Here we see a black person eating chicken and watermelon, a stereotype that hurts the African-American community. What other stereotypes do you see here? [the stereotypes are exhibits, each one with its own spotlight]
Randy:[walks up to another exhibit with Stan and Kyle] Ah, here's the Arab as a terrorist. [the Arab is holding a Kalishnikov rifle]
Tour Guide:That's right. But of course, we know that all Arabs are terrorirsts, don we, kids?
Butters:[sees a third exhibit] W-w-well there's an Asian over there with a calculator. [walks over to it. The others follow]
Tour Guide:That's right. Not all stereotypes are negative. But even a positive one like "All Asians are good at math" is harmful to society.
Cartman:[over at a fourth exhibit, a man cowering over a bag of money] Look, a covetous Jew!
Tour Guide:[arrives with the others] Very good, young man. The idea that Jews are only interested in money is very old indeed.
Randy:[notices a fifth spotlight and walks to it] Ah, here's a good one. [Stan walks up next to him] It's the stereotypical "sleepy Mexican." [a man sleeps under the spotlight sitting up next to a mop and bucket]
Janitor:[wakes up] Wai-what? Oh man, what time is it? [stands up and rubs the back of his neck]
Randy:[in a low voice] Oh I'm sorry. I thought you were a wax sculpture.
Janitor:Naw, man. I'm the janitor. I'm s'pose to be cleaning but I'm so tire. Ongh, so sleepy. [walks off with the mop and bucket]
Though the woman from the "Museum of Tolerance" was just a joke, right? ...right?
Here's a letter by J*hn W**lfrey ("o"s removed so I don't get him whining at me should he do a vanity search, and, no, "vanity search" isn't a gay joke, even if it did make me chuckle when the double entendre occured to me) from Monday morning's Gazette regarding Boone's column.
"I didn't really find Mike Boone's "moisturizer" joke ("My contacts in the gay community have dried up despite constant urging one another to moisturize") offensive in itself, nor, as with most of his jokes, did I find it funny."
Ah, this is more or less the old preface "I have a great sense of humor, but...", a sure sign that you're dealing with someone who's humourless, shrill-voiced, and ultra-P.C., just it's rephrased slightly differently. Idiot. If you didn't find it offensive, why did you fricking send him an e-mail taking him to task for his joke? Wouldn't want to break a nail with unnecessary keystrokes, since I know how expensive those manicures are.
"But I did find that it irked me. "Fem" jokes about gays seem to be still acceptable, though jokes based on stereotypes have long been considered verboten."
Hmm... funny, I don't recall getting that memo. I guess you're flaming... mad that is, even if a great deal of gay culture celebrates the "Fem" (I thought it was "Femme") stereotype. I can't identify with it, as someone who is mildly bi, but I don't have a problem with it.
"I wondered if the columnist makes similar jokes based on the stereotypes of other minorities. I doubt it."
Oh, geez... what other groups does Mike Boone poke fun at on a semi-regular basis? Two words: "Bush Supporters". Two-more words (well, one word and a prefix): "Pro-Lifers". Three more words: "Conservatives in general." He certainly doesn't go limp-wristed there with his stereotypes. Believe you me, I wish he was just saying those groups like to use moisturizer a lot as a semi-amusing segue.
"I suggest that Boone, like members of all minority groups, contain his stereotype joke to his own group: boring, untalented columnists with glasses and bushy grey beards."
See, I'd make the opposite proposal and suggest that Mike Boone go wild with the stereotypes, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog style, to take the piss out of the politically correct, but, really, he can make the tamest stereotype jokes in the world like he did on Saturday and those guys'es heads still explode with outrage, and, in a way, that's actually a lot more amusing, in more or less the same way that I found those Bell High-Speed Internet ads with the older kid demonstrating things using his younger brother as a test subject to illustrate aspects of the Internet service annoying at first, me being not a huge fan of kids in commercials in general, but then some politically correct pussy wrote in to the Gazette saying that those commercials promote "bullying", so now I crack up whenever I see those ads, knowing that there's someone else out there who is taking that commercial far more seriously than it should ever be taken.
(That guy would probably have a coronary over my Snagglepuss the tiger joke yesterday, even if I wrote it very, very carefully so as not to imply that Snagglepuss is attracted to any male that is too young for him.)
Not that this has anything to do with the rest of my entry here, but I just wanted to add that, for no particular reason, I just want to go on record as saying that I too think some of the amateur yaoi manga I've seen, like that found on this site or this site (people under 18 and those whom don't appreciate seeing two cartoon guys "together", do not click on those links) , has some of the best quality artwork I've ever seen from non-professional mangaka.
posted by Steve Brandon @ 4:32 AM
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