"DEAN SMASH!" UPDATE
Hahahahahahahahahahahahah! I was watching
The Daily Show and Jon Stewart was imagining whom they'd cast if a movie studio did a movie about the Democratic candidates, and, for Howard Dean, he proposed casting an angry, ranting Rosie O'Donnell, and he showed a picture of Dean compared to a picture of Rosie and, while I'm sure they poured through hundreds of pictures of each trying to find similar expressions, I'd be damned if they didn't get an exact match.
(Speaking of Jon Stewart, and I didn't get around to mentioning this last week, but, Jon, if you're reading this, I commend you on doing an Al Sharpton joke mentioning the
Tawana Brawley rape hoax. I could tell you had a 100% liberal audience that night and, if anyone in the audience got the reference at all, they weren't laughing, but, rest assured, some of us non-liberals at home understood the joke and laughed our asses off. By the way, yes, last August I did mention that
I didn't watch The Daily Show when I talked about how Samantha Bee, whom had once played Sailor Moon at a stage show at the Canadian National Exibition, had become a
Daily Show correspondent, but that was before CTV started showing
The Daily Show to replace
Open Mike with Mike Bullard.)
Also, American voters, especially those of you whom will vote in the Democratic primaries, if
Dean's weird, angry-soundin, pro wrestler-like screech speech doesn't turn you off the guy, perhaps
the guy's new tastes in clothing accessories will, at least if you're someone whom is a Democrat but whom supports the right of Israel to exist free from terror, since Dean is wearing an Arafat-esque
kaffiyeh headscarf, the preferred fashion accessory of International Solidarity Movement acolytes everywhere.
DEAN LOSE! DEAN MAD! DEAN SMASH OTHER PUNY CANDIDATES! (I'm Howard Dean and I endorse this message.)
Hmm, well, it was just the "Hawkeye Cauci", as Rush Limbaugh likes to call the Iowa caucuses, and it's mostly just a symbolic vote without as much weight as the New Hampshire primary, but , still, I was happy to see
Howard Dean come in third in the Iowa Democratic caucuses behind both John F. Kerry** and John Edwards***, simply because I know Dean is the candidate of choice for all the
"Bush is a Nazi" wackos whom like to paint Bush as alternately an evil conspiratorial mastermind genius or a
"smirking chimp", so, they can see evidence that their views are fringe even by Democrat standards. Plus, a lot closer to home for me, back during the 1995 Quebec separation referendum campaign, while President Clinton enthusiastically backed the federalist option, the good Governor Dean from Vermont came within a hair's breadth of officially endorsing the separatism option, perhaps because Jacques Parizeau and Lucien Bouchard filled Dean's head with ludicrous pipe-dreams of what a glorious socialist utopia Quebec would be if only it were free from the oppressive shackles of that "red and white rag", and, as such, I shudder at the thought of Dean being in the Oval Office.
While I'm sure Dean will do a bit better in the New Hampshire primaries, being the state next to Vermont, I know New Hampshire isn't nearly as liberal as Vermont... to the extent that
one Vermont town is seeking to secede from the state and join New Hampshire to escape high taxes (unlikely to succeed, since Killington is already about halfway to New York State, and there are other towns between Killington and New Hampshire along Highway 4). But, still, regardless of how well he does in New Hampshire, I was pleased to see him lose so badly in the first symbolic vote.
Speaking of more important victories, congratulations to the
New England Patriots for defeating the Indianapolis Colts in the AFC Championship game, so they'll go on to meet the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII in Houston. Not that I'm all that much of an NFL fan, but I get the Boston affiliates for the major American networks on my Bell ExpressVu satellite dish, so I get a disproportionately high amount of Patriots news and that makes me happy for them.
**Which, incidentally, I thought was a joke
Paul Shanklin came up with for the "X-People: Candidates United" bit from Rush Limbaugh's programme ("John Kerry as 'Please, Please Don't Think I'm JFK Man': 'Just call me 'John F. Kerry!''"), but, according to something I heard on NPR tonight,
John Kerry's middle initial really is F, though I can't seem to find what it stands for (though some jokes I found online say "Frenchie").
***Not to be confused with
John Edward, the skilled
"cold reader" "medium" and
"The Biggest Douche in the Universe".
