I WANT TO EAT A NUT OF LAERMA!

THE GAY BOMB...

From Jim Wolf of Reuters:

"The U.S. military rejected a 1994 proposal to develop an "aphrodisiac" to spur homosexual activity among enemy troops but is hard at work on other less-than-lethal weapons, defence officials say.

The idea of fostering homosexuality among the enemy figured in a declassified six-year, $7.5 million (4 million pounds) request from a laboratory at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio for funding of non-lethal chemical weapon research.

The proposal, disclosed in response to a Freedom of Information request, called for developing chemicals affecting human behaviour "so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected."

"One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behaviour," said the document, obtained by the Sunshine Project. The watchdog group posted the partly blacked-out, three-page document on its Web site.

Lt. Col. Barry Venable of the Army, a defence Department spokesman, said: "This suggestion arose essentially from a brainstorming session, and it was rejected out of hand."

The Air Force Research Laboratory also suggested using chemicals that could be sprayed on enemy positions to attract stinging and biting bugs, rodents and larger animals."

Oh, my! Such comic potential! I think I can come up with an amusing quip of some sort. Let's give it a go, shall we?

Ooh... sounds like a concoction Urd would come up with gone haywire, as Urd's potions are wont to do!

Eh... no, most people reading this wouldn't have read Kosuke Fujishima's Oh My Goddess! manga, and I don't even find that line funny, and I have pretty low standards for laughing at my own jokes. Urd never even came up with a concoction that turned people gay, as far as I remember.

Second attempt:

A bomb that turns straight men gay? Let's call it the Bridget bomb!

Eh... a little bit funnier, like how a car accident is funnier than September 11^th. I laughed at it. But, again, how many people have even played Guilty Gear X2 or read the yaoi doujinshi comics I've read? They'll just say, I don't know... "Bridget who? Bridget Moynahan? Why would she turn men gay? She's not even manly."

Gotta think of a funny quip that isn't related to anything Japanese.

I always wondered what the deal was with "E Company" from that musical Swiffer commericial.

Evidently, they were the test subjects.

Hey, I did it! Well, it requires knowledge of a Swiffer commercial that hasn't been on television in 4 years or so, but I don't think I can do any better than that.

posted by Steve Brandon @ 3:50 AM