I WANT TO EAT A NUT OF LAERMA!

PIERRE BERNARD'S RECLINER OF RAGE!

("Let's face it, folks. There's a lot of anger in America today.")

Long after I thought that Late Night with Conan O'Brien retired the sketch, it's back! After 4 whole months in limbo!

This time, I made a split-second decision and taped it rather than trying to transcribe it as Pierre is speaking.

But I missed the first few seconds of his rant. Basically, he starts talking about how he watches the new Justice League Unlimited cartoon on Cartoon Network, and how it's nothing like the old Superfriends cartoon with characters like the Wonder Twins and...

Pierre Bernard: Gleek the Space Monkey. The new show featured classic D.C. Comics characters like Batman, Wonder Woman, and the Flash, so you could imagine how happy I was when I discovered that Target was selling some of their characters as action figures. There were two sizes, 4 inch and 10 inch figures, and, of course, I wanted to purchase them both. Finding the Flash, Superman, and Aquaman was easy, but finding the other characters has been a considerable challenge.

When I finally found the 10-inch Wonder Woman, she came as a set with Batman. I guess that's because, on the TV series, they're dating, but what am I supposed to do with two 10-inch Batmans?

If that weren't enough, I can't find any 10-inch figures for three other characters, Hawkgirl, Green Lantern, and Martian Manhunter.

I had better luck with the 4-inch figures, but I found that they don't stand up very well on their own. I finally had to glue them down to keep them from falling. That's simply outrageous.

(Pulls up recliner and points at camera.)

Bottom line, America: the new Justice League action figures should be easier to find and collect, and the 4-inch figures should stand up without glue.

(Riotous applause.)

Conan O'Brien: (claps slowly) Thank you, ah, thank you, Pierre, I'm sure there are at least two or three other people in the world who know exactly what you are talking about.

Pierre Bernard: United we stand, amigos.

Singer: Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage!

Conan O'Brien: We'll be right back, D.J. Qualls will be here, stick around!

Labels: Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage

posted by Steve Brandon @ 5:08 AM