I WANT TO EAT A NUT OF LAERMA!

LAWN SIGN WARS II: THE LAWN-ENING

This afternoon, someone from the Liberal campaign came and stuck a Lee Farnworth lawn sign, which my mother signed up for at the Liberal site the other day, into our lawn. Unlike the John Baird Conservative lawn sign guy, the Liberal guy evidently noticed the big snowpile next to the bottom of the driveway, and stuck the Liberal sign more in the middle of the lawn, further away from the road and the driveway for increased visibility. I suppose one could say that the Liberals occupy the middle ground while the Conservatives are the "extreme right" (the road being technically to the east of my lawn, and, on most maps, other than those wacko upside-down ones with Australia on top, east = right), but, if you look at the lawn from my driveway, you're actually looking south and the Conservative sign is on the extreme left.

Anyhow, while I didn't touch the Lee Farnworth sign, I thought the John Baird sign needed some assistance in order to be more visible to drivers driving south, so I moved it about two metres south of where it was.



Maybe the Conservative guy placing the John Baird sign just behind the gi-normous snowpile was trying to impart a conservative message upon me after all: while I could have sat on my lazy ass all day and let him do all the sign-placing work, he left open the opportunity for me to actually show some initiative and improve the situation by undertaking the strenuous task of moving a sign made mostly of plastic film two hundred centimetres, so that all citizens of the Ottawa West-Nepean riding could partake in the spectacle of John Baird's campaign's signage no matter which direction they're driving down my street.

Or maybe the Conservative guy just didn't think the snowpile was that much of a visual obstruction. (To be fair, it was a fair bit smaller last week, we just got quite a dumping over the past couple of days.)

For those of you fans of my horrific self-pics (all three of you), I knelt down in the cold, cold snowbank for you just to give you a picture with me showing support for my "team", carefully concealing the Liberal sign with my acne-riffic face, the same way that Wes Anderson shot that one scene in Battery Park in The Royal Tenenbaums with Gene Hackman's much more dignified visage concealing the Statue of Liberty.



And, just for equal time:



I wonder what sort of wacky lawn sign placement strategy the sign-sticker-in-lawn guy for NDP candidate Marlene Rivier will use? My suggestion: top of the snow pile.

And, yes, there's a reasonably good chance that all the candidates advertised on our lawn will split the votes from the three adults in our household, so the presence of competing lawn signs isn't insincere in the slightest. We should start painting white stripes down the centre of various rooms, like in many an episode of old sitcoms, except we'd have to divide each room into thirds.

Oh yeah, there's a debate on right now, I should really stop typing this and watch.

posted by Steve Brandon @ 7:30 PM