I WANT TO EAT A NUT OF LAERMA!

PEPSI GOLD

Pepsi Gold in a sample cup. (Image source)

Pepsi Gold is a new, limited edition cola being marketed specifically in countries where "soccer" football is popular, such as Malaysia, obviously to tie in with the FIFA World Cup.

I think it's caffeine-free with a slight caramel taste.

Here's a Turkish commercial for it, featuring Claudia Schiffer.

But it's not being marketed in North America, outside of Mexico.

Damnit, Pepsi is missing a golden opportunity by not soaking the American and Canadian airwaves to the saturation point with advertising.

Just think of some of the possible slogans:

"Pepsi Gold is Number One!"

"You Can't Spell Pepsi without 'P'."

"Pepsi Gold: You won't know what tangy flavor refreshment you're in for until you drink a sample of it for yourself!"

"Pepsi Gold: relieve yourself ...from the summer heat."

"Pepsi Gold: the perfect drink for all of your usual outdoor summer activities: watering the flowers, draining the tank, seeing that man about a horse, even watersports!"

"Wet yourself in the throat with Pepsi Gold."

"Squirt some Pepsi Gold into your mouth today."

"I have really, really got to go... and buy me some Pepsi Gold!"

"Pepsi Gold: So refreshing, you'll want to squeeze out every last drop from the bottle."

"Pepsi Gold... looks the same going in you as it does coming out!"

"Pepsi Gold: the perfect drink to spend a penny on!" (That one works better in Britain.)

"Pepsi Gold: In stores for just a wee time!" (Also better in Britain.)

"Pepsi Gold: Tastes Better than Calpis!" (That one's for Japan.)

"Pepsi Gold: La boisson gazeuse au couleur des pissenlits." (The dandelion-coloured soft drink.)

"Pepsi Gold: Feel the tingle!"

"Be a whiz: Drink Pepsi Gold!"

"Pepsi Gold: The golden shower in your throat."

"Pepsi Gold: Because the sight of yellow liquid in a phallic-shaped bottle is the most appetizing thing ever!"

And Hasbro should request that Pepsico should bring Pepsi Gold to North America, because they could cross-promote it with one of their own products:




Try Pepsi Gold in the Super-Soaker Oozinator: shower them with your tangy golden spray before you blast them in the face with your sticky white Bio-Ooze!

posted by Steve Brandon @ 8:00 PM