I WANT TO EAT A NUT OF LAERMA!

PIERRE BERNARD'S RECLINER OF RAGE.

Oh, wow, less than two months after the "Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage" segment wherein Pierre complained about not being able to get the 18" Betty Boop figurine in a black French Maid uniform, Pierre has returned to NBC's Late Night with Conan O'Brien with another rant, and this time he's complaining about something near and dear to my own heart.

Usual "I started taping during Conan's introduction, so I missed the 'Let's face it folks, there's a lot of anger in America...'" disclaimer.

Conan O'Brien: ...there's Pierre. You can just see the rage coming off Pierre there. Pierre... Pierre says he knows how America feels and he's ready to articulate our anger for us, so here he is, once again, in a little segment we like to call "Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage".

Singer: PIERRE BERNARD'S RECLINER OF RAGE!

Conan: Hello there, Pierre, are you comfortable and angry?

Pierre Bernard Jr.: Comfortable and furious, Conan!

Conan: Then go ahead, old chum, and speak for America.

Pierre: Okay, here goes.

Recently, I wanted to purchase a display case to house my extensive collection of Hot Wheels cars, including my new favorite, the Arachnorod, a half-spider, half-car hybrid. My Hot Wheels have been sitting in a room where I display all my Pez Dispensers and View-Master merchandise, and I thought it was high time they were displayed properly. I decided to erect my Hot Wheel display case in my bathroom, that way I could look at the cars at least once or twice a day depending on what I had been eating.

There are a number of display cases available, but each one has their own unique problems. One case has sliding panels, giving me easy access to up to a hundred and eight cars, but it couldn't display any Hot Wheels trucks. Another case could display both cars and trucks, but it held fewer items and it had these huge hinges on the front panel, which I found distracting. Also, because of the size of the case, I wouldn't be able to open the swinging door and access my Hot Wheels cars when I'm sitting on the toilet.

Because of these problems, I still haven't found a Hot Wheels display case I like.

Bottom line, America? We sent a man to the moon and split the atom. Can't we also build a Hot Wheels case that can house my cars properly in my bathroom, especially my Arachnorod?

(Laughter and applause.)

Conan: Thank you, ah, thank you, Pierre, I'm, uh, I'm sure there are at least one or two other people in the world who know exactly how you feel.

Pierre: United we stand, muchachos.

Singer: PIERRE BERNARD'S RECLINER OF RAGE!

Conan: When we come back, Artie Lang is here, stick around.

(It's a good thing this rant was relatively short, by Pierre Bernard standards, as I couldn't find my VCR remote and had to keep on walking back and forth between the VCR and my computer just to get it line-by-line.)

I don't know what to suggest... I started buying Hot Wheels again last summer, and, in the autumn, I bought a case for my cars at Toys R' Us,



but it's a carry-case, not a display case. And it doesn't hold trucks.

I display the nicest Hot Wheels I have (mostly Ferrari and Corvette Hot Wheels cars, with a couple of Porsches and Shelby Cobras) on top of my manga bookshelf.



I think the easiest solution would be to just buy a separate trailer-rig display for the trucks.

Labels: Pierre Bernard's Recliner of Rage

posted by Steve Brandon @ 6:26 AM